French Women Don't Get Fatĭoonan's advice will probably be equally cute, fun, and witty. The book is supposedly, 'a stylishly slimming discourse that proves gay men really ARE French women: prone to disdain, favoring cheeky underwear, convinced of their own artistic brilliance, and (of course) calorie-obsessed.' Clever, but where does that obsession come from? The advice as to why gay men don't get fat isn't as palatable. There is only one thing that keeps gay men in shape: fear.
Yes, every gay-at least those of the stereotypical abdominal-obsessed physique that populates Fire Island and Palm Springs-is brought about because gay men are afraid that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. If a gay man is not 'serving body' while competing to find a trick or boyfriend in one of the more muscle-bound climates of gay culture, he will be sorely shut out.
That is why gay men don't get fat, because if they don't have pecs, guns, and glutes, they're going home alone. Gay men, unlike their straight counterparts, don't have the luxury to stay in 'fighting shape' just long enough to find a partner before letting their bodies fall to shit afterwords. No, gay men have to get buff, get married, and stay buff.
